Home Sweet Home

A house is made with walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently I facilitated a Home Rededication Ceremony for my friend Lisa in the suburbs of Philadelphia. She has spent ten years in her fieldstone house and wanted to celebrate that fact and look forward to the future with her friends and neighbors. We gathered in her back yard. Mother Nature had given us a beautiful day.

Lisa and I have been friends since high school in New York City. She has lived many places - Upstate New York, San Diego, Toms River, NJ and the Philadelphia neighborhood of Roxborough. But her current home is most near to her heart.

“I love spending time here,” says Lisa, “I feel safe and at peace inside. And the backyard is full of natural beauty. Knowing that my friends and family enjoy spending time here too, makes it more special. It’s my gathering place.”

So, she gathered about a dozen people to take part in her “Home Sweet Home” ceremony. We decided to focus on the people and events that turned her house into a home.

“Within the theme that Lisa chose of Home Sweet Home, it is understood that there is a process. A house becomes a home. An empty house is just a physical structure of wood and brick, glass and metal, tile, and insulation. When someone moves into it, and begins to live within its walls, only then does it become a home.” I told everyone.

It also felt really good to talk about Lisa’s parents, Len and Yvonne, who both died in 2011. With the money they left her, she was able to purchase the house. Their last act of parental care was to help her establish this home. Although they were never there, their presence was deeply felt.

I incorporated several ritual elements, the first of which is the libation.

From the dawn of history and in all corners of the globe, people have poured out onto the ground libations of food or drink. This is a spiritual act. Generally, it is done to honor the gods or to honor the ancestors. In this case we were tying together the wonderful contribution by Lisa's parents and the things that transformed the house into a home.

Each guest got a tiny packet of lavender buds. (Not food but very sweet smelling and easy to scatter.) We had several readings that highlighted the special events of the home. It was a safe haven during Super Storm Sandy. It was a flame that ignited her creative work. It was a clubhouse for dancing and toasting marshmallows.

Lisa’s friends read and as each finished, together we responded, “But every house where love abides, and friendship is a guest. Is surely home, and home-sweet-home: for there the heart can rest.” (From a poem by Richard Van Dyke.)

Then we sprinkled a few buds onto the ground. It was a ceremony that connected us to our most ancient roots.

But I also wanted to give a nod to the modern and so I added the house hippo. Wait, you don’t know about the good luck of having a house hippo?

It all started in 1999. Canadian Public Television created a public service spot to help teach kids critical thinking. The one-minute video talked about how tiny “house hippos” were invading homes and causing trouble. The adorable piece showed a very realistic little hippopotamus rummaging through the kitchen for crumbs, escaping the cat, and curling up inside a mitten to sleep.

Basically, it was to let children know you can’t believe everything just because you see it on TV. Maybe kids did learn that, but it wasn’t the only outcome. Based on this public service announcement, for years now, Canadians and Americans have been buying little hippos and placing them in their homes for good luck. I myself have a miniscule ceramic pachyderm on my kitchen windowsill who is obviously bringing me health and prosperity.

It is heartening that humans keep creating new rituals and traditions like the house hippo. However, because my friend is a great lover of all things Australian, I got her a tiny ceramic house koala. My own twist on the tradition. She has since placed it on her kitchen windowsill.

When the ceremony was over, all the guests wrote good wishes for Lisa and hung them on a little tree. Someone brought a cake with a picture of the house on it. That really was a “home sweet home.”

The home should be the treasure chest of living.

– architect Le Corbusier

We love our homes, whether a little cottages, an apartments, an Airstream trailer or a marble mansion. They are our nests for comfort, creativity, and connection. The day we move in our first box is the opening of a great new book we can’t wait to dive into. But as the years pass, we start new chapters in that book called home and those are also important moments that deserve commemorating.

If you would like to host a new home dedication or re-dedication, contact me at celebrationism1@gmail.com or 267-496-3881. I will create a ceremony full of sweetness that will reflect your treasure chest of living.

Remember to create, celebrate, and gather.

(I hope what I write here on Celebrationism.net is helpful. But I know that it cannot replace actual therapy. If you are dealing with serious emotional challenges, please seek out a mental health professional.)

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