The Sanctity of Preparation
Celebrationism and being a ceremony designer is a new thing for me. But at the same time, it’s not. As far back as I can remember, I created experiences in which people would connect and celebrate.
Really way back.
When I was five, I told my mom I wanted to have a Valentine’s Day party, and everyone would come. By “everyone” I meant me and my mom and my grandmother. (I still enjoy intimate events the best.)
But we had to get ready for this soiree. We had to have – drumroll, please – Valentine’s hats!
Mom got out our arts and crafts supplies. And, God bless her, she helped me glue red hearts on to paper doilies. Later the three of us bobby-pinned these “hats” to our heads and enjoyed cookies and grape juice.
I don’t recall the party that clearly, but I totally remember putting the doily hats together. Even at that early age, I knew that getting ready for something could be as important as the something itself. Wearing those silly paper hats signaled that something special was happening. Making them was the first, and very important, step.
Preparation is sacred. In its own way it is a ritual.
I love cooking big holiday meals. That’s one of my sources of joy. Maybe your thing is travelling to new places, fixing cars, or playing guitar.
No matter what brings you joy, though, you know that it will be more pleasing if you are prepared. Shopping lists written. Vacation research queued up. Tools clean and orderly. Guitar tuned. These are the things that give us yummy pies, awesome selfies, purring engines, and smooth solos. The seed of that enjoyable experience is in the groundwork.
Dancers take a class almost every single day of their careers. It helps them both physically and mentally.
“On a base level, our warmup is essentially to get our body literally warm for the day ahead, which could be a long rehearsal or multiple performances,” says dancer Alison Ramoran of Smuin Contemporary Ballet in San Francisco. “A good prep is important for us to stay grounded, focused and acclimated to whatever situation we’re in, acting like a meditative practice before a stressful event.”
Even when we approach something less than pleasant, getting ready can make it better. Students are more confident when they study before an exam. Expectant parents are more relaxed after attending birthing classes. Patients face the dentist with a grin when they have been flossing. (Yeah, that one you can’t just do the night before.)
Even Noah had to prepare. As Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, notes, “If you believe you can accomplish everything by ‘cramming’ at the eleventh hour, by all means, don't lift a finger now. But you may think twice about beginning to build your ark once it has already started raining.”
The seed of that successful experience – even when it’s the hardest thing you ever had to do - is still in the groundwork.
And I am using the word seed intentionally. When I was thinking about the meaningfulness of starting well, I remembered a poem by Muriel Rukeyser, Elegy in Joy [excerpt]. Two lines kept playing in my head, “The seeds of all things are blest. The blessing is in the seed.”
Those words have become a blessing for me. I say them when I find myself preparing for an activity or event. Sometimes it is a gratitude kind of blessing. How lucky I am that I can afford all the ingredients to make this meal for people I love. Sometimes it’s a blessing of encouragement. I know this project is going to be difficult, but I know I can do it. Saying the words anchors me into the moment, into the sacred work of preparation.
And since it is Friday, my day for wishful thinking, this is what I wish for all of us. May we be mindful of our preparations. And may we enjoy the getting ready as much as we can.
May it be a momentary reminder that Valentine’s doily hats make things special.